Living with anxiety

Anxiety is a natural human experience. It is your body's way of telling you that something is wrong, that you are not safe, and that you must take action. This internal alarm system can be very helpful, but sometimes, anxiety is just there, and you don't know why. 

When you are experiencing anxiety, you might notice:

  • you are holding your breath
  • you are consumed with your thoughts and worries
  • you can't unwind or relax
  • you are easily startled, jumpy, and on high alert
  • you feel discomfort in your chest, throat, stomach, and jaw
  • you distance yourself from friends and family
  • you find it difficult to engage in activities you used to enjoy
  • you have a hard time trusting people or situations
  • you feel out of control

Many situations can trigger anxiety and panic responses: social engagements, public speaking, taking tests, difficult medical diagnoses and prognoses, loss of loved ones and relationships, stress, and world issues.

Anxiety can also show up if you are overstretched, have not prioritized your needs, or are trying too hard to be perfect. 

A constant state of heightened emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations can be exhausting and can profoundly impact your ability to function and connect with others in your day-to-day life. 

How I can help

In our sessions, I can help you create distance from your anxious experience, find ease in your physical discomfort, and understand why your anxiety shows up.

We acknowledge anxiety as part of you and a part of life. We find ways to keep you anchored in the waves of anxiety and continue moving toward the people, places, dreams, and goals that matter to you.
For anxiety, I often draw from acceptance & commitment therapy (ACT), dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT), and internal family systems (IFS).

 

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Living with perfectionism

Striving for excellence and high standards can bring great accomplishments, rewards, and satisfaction to your life. However, sometimes, setting high expectations, with little room for mistakes, can become unsustainable and interfere with your normal daily functioning and self-worth.

If you live with perfectionist tendencies, you might notice:

  • you are afraid of being judged by others
  • you are afraid to make mistakes
  • you have an overbearing fear of failing
  • you criticize yourself
  • you have intrusive thoughts about failing or not being good enough
  • you worry a lot about the future and how you might perform
  • you are driven to overachieve
  • you need to be in control 
  • you procrastinate
  • you avoid situations, opportunities, and experiences because you think you won't be your best

The interesting thing about perfectionism is that you might appear to be in control and on top of the world to others. Yet, inside, you feel exhausted, anxious, scared, insecure, and vulnerable. Your inner critic tells you that you are not good enough, will probably fail, and need to either work harder or not try at all.

Being driven by fear of failure and your inner critic can make life extremely challenging.

 

How I can help

As a recovering perfectionist, I understand the impact that striving for excellence—without flexibility—can have on your mental health and self-worth. I also understand how good it feels when things run smoothly, you achieve success, and others recognize and reward your meticulous hard work.

I can help you find ways to be flexible with your standards, rules, and expectations. You can still be high-achieving, but in a way that is balanced, aligned with your values, and prioritizes your mental health, well-being, and relationships with others. 

When working with perfectionism, I often draw from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), self-compassion principles, narrative therapy, and internal family systems (IFS) to help you stay true to yourself while finding ease, acceptance, and self-love. 

 

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